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Cajomo
September 4th, 2007, 11:03 AM
The Ancient Protectors

The diamond like dew shone lazily in the sunlight, as it clung to the emerald grass. A sparrow fluttered over and landed carefully on the floor of the clearing. Its tiny black eyes scanned the scene for danger; none. It lifted its short beak and began pecking the ground ferociously, searching for prey. Each time its beak penetrated the soft loamy soil, but to no avail. Why was there nothing here? Not a single bird twittered in one of the few scattered trees. Not even a bold field mouse, dared scurry through these grasses! Sudden realisation halted the sparrows unrelenting searching. It was too late. The vipers mouth closed around the tiny bird, its long, forked tongue, as black as the night sky, flickered on the soft feathers of the sparrow. With a single bite, the viper could stop the sparrows erratically fast heartbeat. The snake hissed, it opened its gaping mouth. The bird hopped out, and surveyed the viper. The snake hissed again. The sparrow took the warning and soared into the sky. The message of the viper was clear. He was not meant to be there.

*

The bats skeletal wings were tired. Her whole body was tired. She felt dizzy. Sleeping in the night and journeying in the day, was never a good idea for a bat, especially one of her age! A sparrow swooped past, its eyes glinted with terror, it was trying to escape something. Or somewhere, the bat thought. Her eyes scanned the scene. The brilliant blue of the sky, not a single cloud dappled its brilliance. The harsh green of the coniferous redwoods and pines. The glare of the golden orb, forever illuminating the world which she fought to protect. The bat smiled to herself. The gift of sight. How ecstatic she had been when she had received it from the world spirit, all those millennia’s ago, in the Beginning, when she was just a pup! Her eyes darted from tree to tree searching for the clearing. How much longer? Fatigue was catching up with her. She ploughed on, desperate to reach her destination. After all, the meeting of the ancients only happened once every hundred winters. Ah, finally. The bat swooped lower, until finally landing on the luscious grass of a clearing, next to the viper.

*

The wolf ran. It sprinted through the trees, over streams and across rocks. And it enjoyed every second of it. Its body was gracefully arched as it continued its lope. Another thousand years, another age of watching, protecting. And now it was, once again time. Time for the clans which they sought so hard to protect, to give something back. Of course, the occasional fish head, or handful of Lingon berries was nice enough, but not enough to repay there hard work. The wolf stopped by a slowly trickling stream. It lowered its majestic head gracefully, and began to lap at the cool refreshing water. The liquid cleansed him. He then trotted through the stream, and snacked on a dead jay bird. The food gave him strength. He had been journeying for many daywalks now. He was not tired. He may be ancient, but he was not old. His body was that of a young wolf, agile and quick. Yet his mind was that of an age old raven, wise and intelligent. The trees were beginning to thin. At last, he sped into the clearing, his destination, and thudded to a halt, by the viper and the bat.

*

The woman, the raven, the mage strolled through the forest. Her wispy hair swayed left and right in the slight breeze. Every now and then she muttered angry curses. She clutched a rowan staff. Her talon like nails pierced a nearby tree. She drank some of the Oak blood, for energy, sealed the wound and left some for the guardian. The guardian, she thought. This had been an inconvenience to the mage. Today was to be a crucial lesson for the girl. However, she could not deny that she was excited at the prospect of meeting the ancients again. Once every thousand years, the clans were required to give something back to the guardians. They do this by sending a mage, into the magical clearing, to present the three most ancient guardians, aptly named the three ancients, with a gift. As the mage trudged on, her thoughts began to wander to the girl. So stubborn. Yet, her talent for mage craft was immense. She could not let it go untapped. She was wrenched from her personal thoughts by the appearance of the clearing. She had arrived. The three ancients were sitting, side by side, staring happily at her. The bat of sight, the kind viper and the singing wolf. The mage wasted no time. She lit a fire in the centre of the clearing, and the flames turned the deepest shade of crimson. The ancients crowded round the flames, there eyes wide with wonder. The woman approached the wolf, and took a single hair from its pelt. She turned towards the viper, and took a single loose scale from its long slender body. She walked calmly to the bat, and plucked a tiny amount of minuscule hairs from under its wings. With all these gathered, she spat into the her hands. She mixed the spit with the hairs and scale.
“May the language of my race be heard to these ancients, until the ritual is complete.” she shouted, and cast the mixture into the fire. The hairs and scale burnt immediately and disappeared. The spit evaporated. The fire turned purple. She gifted the wolf, with speed. So fast, that when he ran, he was invisible. She gifted the bat with tireless age, so she would be young forever. And finally she gifted the viper with the language of all people, and animals in the world, so he may commune with whom he likes. Saeunn bowed to the ancients, and headed back to camp.

*Exactly 1000 words! (lucky!) not including the title!*

Sparrow
September 4th, 2007, 11:12 AM
I think...I just think you have a chance of winning! I enjoyed reading that :3

Cajomo
September 4th, 2007, 11:20 AM
Woah! Thanks loads! XDXDXD

Bird Of Prey
September 4th, 2007, 11:41 AM
Wow! That is awesome! Very descriptive and with a good plot!
You have a great chance of winning!

Leka
September 4th, 2007, 11:48 AM
I'll review it asap, Cajomo. I'll be entering too I think. Good luck, from what I see it looks good!

Cajomo
September 4th, 2007, 11:59 AM
That was your 1000sth post! lol i really want feedback from as many peeps as poss, if you want me to give your entry feedback, just PM me!

jaz
September 4th, 2007, 06:08 PM
that was awesome, well done :) I loved reading it:)

Twisted Torak
September 4th, 2007, 06:13 PM
that was great, it had wonderful descriptions and a good plot.
i think it has a very good chance of winning.

Cajomo
September 4th, 2007, 07:59 PM
Guys, i am so happy you all like it so much! I really want as much feedback as poss XD

Leka
September 5th, 2007, 10:23 AM
It's brilliant Cajomo! I really love the way you did each of the characters separate from each other, then they all came together. It's really great how you gave the Ancients unusual qualities for their species - great for making them different! And... ok this thing is kind of little but I like it how you didn't say the Mage's name until the end so we didn't know really who it was. I mean, yeah, the Raven mage but you could have had anyone. Truly amazing descriptive language there. Well done!

Blackwolf
September 5th, 2007, 03:39 PM
Lol. That's really good. I like the way you've told he reader about the dew . How it looks like diamonds.

wolf of the forest
September 5th, 2007, 03:56 PM
thats brilliant! i like the way that you give small hint as to who the mage is but don't name her till the end and interlocking the story of each ancient really brings the story to life :))


er im still new so no pics.....

Cajomo
September 5th, 2007, 04:27 PM
Thanks Blackwolf! x

Blackwolf
September 5th, 2007, 04:54 PM
I'm not as i said in the p.m. Meerly a misunderstanding.

Blackwolf
September 5th, 2007, 05:00 PM
I'm bidding on ebay for Jack's sword. (I know it's not exact)

821

Akhlut
September 5th, 2007, 06:53 PM
Brilliant! I bet you'll win or come v.close...

Akky

Cajomo
September 5th, 2007, 08:56 PM
Its ok blackwolf, i completely understand, i may have acted bit rashly lol! And i cant believe im getting so much praise! :O

Blackwolf
September 5th, 2007, 08:57 PM
Well you should do. it's great.

firen
September 5th, 2007, 09:01 PM
wow Cajomo! Keep it up! Read mine too!

Cajomo
September 5th, 2007, 09:04 PM
just did! gave feedback...

Leka
September 13th, 2007, 12:46 PM
Ooh Ok I totally have to write something only what... 13 days left of the competition? When I do could you guys can review it if yoou wants. :smile:

Cajomo
September 25th, 2007, 04:44 PM
Come on guys, really looking for feedback, the competition is nearly over!

demongirl
September 25th, 2007, 05:18 PM
I think its really good, lots of detail, but not boring detail, like for example in some books they go on about a drop of water for ages and it gets boring. But anyway, you're a really good writer in my opinion!

Cajomo
September 29th, 2007, 01:07 PM
HaHa! I think Lemony Snicket uses boring detail EG his long rants over the water cycle *yawn* x

Ethaneo
October 6th, 2007, 05:59 AM
Gratz Cajomo

Arwynn
October 10th, 2007, 12:55 AM
congradulations on winning the competition Cajomo, I enjoyed reading your post!! ^^